White Lies
Description
He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
I think that we look back on relationships, ex’s, and lovers with a distorted lens. So frequently, at least for my friends and me, we’ll leave unhappy relationships only to look back and say “He really wasn’t that bad. He had his sweet moments when he did special little things.” When more often than not those special little things (flowers, cards, small gifts) were fabrications told to our friends to justify being with somebody who preferred gaming, drinking, and time with friends over spending time with you. White lies told to friends so they didn’t tell us to leave him for being no good for us. Why didn’t we want to leave him? Simple, we’d already told ourselves a thousand little lies to make him our “dream man” and we couldn’t possibly leave a man with so much potential! (Read previous blog: “falling in love with potential)
This projecting doesn’t just end with men though. Sometimes a woman will lie to herself about how appreciated she is at work. Inside we know that we aren’t being paid enough but if anyone asks we will tell them, “Oh, they know they would be lost without me.” In truth, they might be lost without you, but they are still blindly ignorant of this fact.
There are so many aspects that we will lie to ourselves and others about. We will pretend to be in a better place financially before admitting to others that we may not be able to afford the same things as them. We will talk up our important at work, within relationships, etc to give us more worth. These small exaggerations are still lies. They make us feel better about things we may have insecurities about. Sometimes we lie to make ourselves sound more exciting to others, maybe add some titillating details to a night that didn’t actual occur. They start out so innocent, but they have a way of getting away from us.
I sometimes realize I’m doing this, and sometimes I don’t. I don’t know why I feel the need to exaggerate things…things with no real meaning. I’m not making up that instead of saying, “I had a great night tonight, Jewels.” He really said, “This was the best night of my life and I think I might be in love with you.” I don’t go overboard with things…but that’s not the point…why do I do this at all!?
“The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.” Friedrich Nietzsche
A friend of mine thinks it’s because I’m white and all white people lie. I’m not sure how valid this is. Maybe it has something to do with having such an awesome imagination that I feel guilty not using it. Either way…I’m not sure that I’m hurting anyone…except maybe myself. You are probably reading this now wondering how honest I have been while writing this, and previous, blog entries. I promise you that I have not lied, exaggerated, or fabricated any of my blogs. This is meant to be an honest and frank journal for myself and lying here would be totally counterproductive. So rest easy, Reader, and know that what you read here is nothing more than the honest and often random ramblings of a woman finding her way in the world.
So I guess my question to you is: Do you do this too? Have you stopped short when telling a story when you realized “Why did I just say that? That didn’t actually happen!?” Have you found yourself in a tangle of little lies that added up? Do you lie to yourself about your job, relationship, and your own feelings? It’s not an easy thing to realize…that even if my lies hurt nobody…I’m still a liar. Ugh…how awful!
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
I think that we look back on relationships, ex’s, and lovers with a distorted lens. So frequently, at least for my friends and me, we’ll leave unhappy relationships only to look back and say “He really wasn’t that bad. He had his sweet moments when he did special little things.” When more often than not those special little things (flowers, cards, small gifts) were fabrications told to our friends to justify being with somebody who preferred gaming, drinking, and time with friends over spending time with you. White lies told to friends so they didn’t tell us to leave him for being no good for us. Why didn’t we want to leave him? Simple, we’d already told ourselves a thousand little lies to make him our “dream man” and we couldn’t possibly leave a man with so much potential! (Read previous blog: “falling in love with potential)
This projecting doesn’t just end with men though. Sometimes a woman will lie to herself about how appreciated she is at work. Inside we know that we aren’t being paid enough but if anyone asks we will tell them, “Oh, they know they would be lost without me.” In truth, they might be lost without you, but they are still blindly ignorant of this fact.
There are so many aspects that we will lie to ourselves and others about. We will pretend to be in a better place financially before admitting to others that we may not be able to afford the same things as them. We will talk up our important at work, within relationships, etc to give us more worth. These small exaggerations are still lies. They make us feel better about things we may have insecurities about. Sometimes we lie to make ourselves sound more exciting to others, maybe add some titillating details to a night that didn’t actual occur. They start out so innocent, but they have a way of getting away from us.
I sometimes realize I’m doing this, and sometimes I don’t. I don’t know why I feel the need to exaggerate things…things with no real meaning. I’m not making up that instead of saying, “I had a great night tonight, Jewels.” He really said, “This was the best night of my life and I think I might be in love with you.” I don’t go overboard with things…but that’s not the point…why do I do this at all!?
“The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.” Friedrich Nietzsche
A friend of mine thinks it’s because I’m white and all white people lie. I’m not sure how valid this is. Maybe it has something to do with having such an awesome imagination that I feel guilty not using it. Either way…I’m not sure that I’m hurting anyone…except maybe myself. You are probably reading this now wondering how honest I have been while writing this, and previous, blog entries. I promise you that I have not lied, exaggerated, or fabricated any of my blogs. This is meant to be an honest and frank journal for myself and lying here would be totally counterproductive. So rest easy, Reader, and know that what you read here is nothing more than the honest and often random ramblings of a woman finding her way in the world.
So I guess my question to you is: Do you do this too? Have you stopped short when telling a story when you realized “Why did I just say that? That didn’t actually happen!?” Have you found yourself in a tangle of little lies that added up? Do you lie to yourself about your job, relationship, and your own feelings? It’s not an easy thing to realize…that even if my lies hurt nobody…I’m still a liar. Ugh…how awful!
Début de l'événement
20.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
20.03.2022